


Mission Accomplished

by pcwife



Category: C-Pop, EXO (Band)
Genre: Cheating, Crack, F/M, Humor, Kinda?, M/M, also kinda?, don't take those relationship tags seriously, tbh idk what this is but its kinda funny so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-11 04:23:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13516518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pcwife/pseuds/pcwife
Summary: Luhan eloquently asked, “What the actual fuck?”





	Mission Accomplished

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a crack drabble, but i'm not entirely sure what it became  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/pcwifey),[tumblr](http://mrswangyeol.tumblr.com/)

Luhan could barely keep his eyes open as he keyed in the passcode at his front door. He’d had an exhausting night at the studio, having to record the same chorus over and over again because his pitch had been all over the place. Then he’d had to film a Running Man special for 6 hours, and had barely gotten any sleep before being subjected to a 4 hour photoshoot. He still didn’t understand why Grazia needed so many pictures of him in an orange jumpsuit, but now that he’d escaped, he wasn’t going to question it anymore. He just wanted to sleep the rest of the day away.

A beep told him that he lock was open, and he stumbled through the doorway, about to throw his backpack onto the couch across the living room. He froze in his tracks, however, when he spotted a pair of familiar pink converse in his entry way. Was Xiao Tong here? He racked his brain, trying to remember if she’d left him a text saying she’d come over. He couldn’t remember reading one, but with his schedule these days, it wouldn’t be the first time he’d completely blanked on something. 

And then there was the matter of the black sketchers haphazardly thrown in the corner of the entryway. Luhan owned a similar pair but he could have sworn they were blue…

Brow furrowed, he bypassed the couch he’d been planning to collapse on and made straight for the bedroom. When Tong was here, she tended to be perched at his bedroom window, the place with the best lighting for selfies… 

He opened the door and was surprised to see the curtains drawn. He turned to his bed and immediately saw red. Tong knew that he hated people touching his bed, yet there – in broad daylight – was a Tong-shaped lump under his covers. He was just getting ready to stomp over and yank the covers off when he heard a weird sound, and then realized that the lump had too many bumps in it for the limbs to belong to one person. His suspicions were confirmed when he heard Tong’s voice moan “…’Xing…”

‘Xing?

‘Xing??

“Ya! What the hell is going on here??” Luhan yelled as he yanked the covers off.

Lying there, pink in the face, was Xiao Tong, attempting to cover her front with a pillow. And lying halfway ontop of her, Zhang Yixing. The bastard didn’t even have the grace to look surprised.

Luhan couldn’t believe it.

“You-!”

“Lu-lu, listen, I can explain-“ Tong began

“YOU LITTLE PIECE-“ Luhan continued

“No, Lu-lu, calm down-“ she continued

“-OF SHIT! HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS-“ 

“Wait a bit-“

“-,YIXING?” 

Xiao Tong blinked. Then, as if she wasn’t sure what Luhan had just said, she repeated “Yixing?”

It was as if Luhan couldn’t hear her. Refusing to even glance her way, he stood there breathing hard, red in the face, and glaring at Yixing.

“I texted you that I’d be here soon! You couldn’t wait 30 fucking minutes for me to get home!? You just had to jump somebody?? And her?? She’ll fuck anything that moves! What the hell is wrong with you?”

Tong blinked some more. “Uhhhh…what.”

Luhan turned to her “Are you still here? Get out! I’m trying to fight with my boyfriend!!”

Tong still looked confused, but Luhan was on a roll. “And stop coming into my apartment when I’m not around! Dating for, like, 2 seconds, doesn’t give you a right to be here all the time. How do you keep guessing my new passcode??”

“Yixing is your boyfriend? But- but-” she turned to Yixing, betrayed, “You were supposed to be helping me make him mad and jealous!”

“Weelll…” Yixing drawled, opening his mouth for the first time since Luhan came into the room, ”He _is_ mad and jealous right now so…mission accomplished?”

Furious, Tong, pulled the sheets closer around herself as she jumped out of bed and flounced off, picking her clothes on the way. A banged door later, the apartment was Tong-free. 

“Surprise!” Yixing merrily announced.

Turning back to his womanizing boyfriend, Luhan eloquently asked, “What the actual fuck?”

Still smiling brightly, Yixing replied, “You kept complaining that you couldn’t find a way to keep her out of your house for good, right? Now she won’t be coming back, babe!”

Luhan stared at his disheveled boyfriend in shock as he slowly began to realize that he was dating an actual, real life, crazy person.

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/pcwifey),[tumblr](http://mrswangyeol.tumblr.com/)
> 
> EDIT: I've noticed that a lot of people don't get what's going on here - so to clarify:  
> At first it looks like Luhan is dating Tong, but no, plot twist! He's actually dating Yixing. He did date Tong in the past, but they broke up and she won't stop being clingy. That's why she keeps finding ways to sneak into his apartment. Luhan has been complaining about this to Yixing, trying to find a way to get rid of her.  
> So, Luhan comes home and sees Yixing's shoes in the doorway but is too tired to realize it. He finds Yixing in bed with Tong, but apparently Yixing was just trying to embarass her by being discovered like this so that she'd leave Luhan alone. Tong, on the other hand, was trying to start something with Yixing so that Luhan would get jealous and get back with her. Got it? Great :D


End file.
